do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
