hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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