i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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