There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
