She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
