i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
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