i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
