Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Randomize
