rhymes with "ouble enetration"
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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