I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
