I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Randomize
