you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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