shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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