There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
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My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
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All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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