Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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