dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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