If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
