I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
