Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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