I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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