I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
