Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
