yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
