can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize