Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
