your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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