How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
