The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I touched a dick in church today
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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