Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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