This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
