You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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