new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
