They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
