I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
