TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
