We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Your penis caused this!
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