Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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