so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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