how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
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sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
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The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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