Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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