even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
