Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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