Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
