I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
