i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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