you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
