dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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