if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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