I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
