I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
home. puking in laundry basket.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
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She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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