Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
