Fuck appropriateness.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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