Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
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