Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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