dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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