Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward... http://tfl.nu/8dba
  Replies (1) Good night (1698) Bad night (881)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (307): I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist. http://tfl.nu/unvw
  Replies (12) Good night (1033) Bad night (1492)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans. http://tfl.nu/20x0
  Replies (6) Good night (2433) Bad night (541)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface? http://tfl.nu/c14f
  Replies (4) Good night (2904) Bad night (954)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left http://tfl.nu/56sv
  Replies (4) Good night (3595) Bad night (883)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done. http://tfl.nu/9ur9
  Replies (1) Good night (1585) Bad night (1016)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy http://tfl.nu/f1hz
  Replies (10) Good night (1506) Bad night (495)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (941): Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game. http://tfl.nu/smzi
  Replies (7) Good night (922) Bad night (507)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable. http://tfl.nu/zo4w
  Replies (7) Good night (732) Bad night (968)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (928): The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death. http://tfl.nu/lz31
  Replies (11) Good night (485) Bad night (1810)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (712): My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men. http://tfl.nu/xu6z
  Replies (3) Good night (734) Bad night (378)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes... http://tfl.nu/1uwm
  Replies (9) Good night (353) Bad night (1271)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (902): A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover http://tfl.nu/hzmj
  Replies (2) Good night (251) Bad night (492)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo? http://tfl.nu/ndaq
  Replies (2) Good night (781) Bad night (324)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Send help, water and tortillas.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Send help, water and tortillas. http://tfl.nu/ih4z
  Replies (0) Good night (504) Bad night (219)

Randomize