Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem. http://tfl.nu/6hmf
  Replies (34) Good night (1804) Bad night (628) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  You suck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier. (1-248): You suck. http://tfl.nu/uyss
  Replies (41) Good night (742) Bad night (3327) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman" http://tfl.nu/zber
  Replies (36) Good night (3659) Bad night (723) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things http://tfl.nu/w4id
  Replies (39) Good night (15311) Bad night (659) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever. http://tfl.nu/jw7m
  Replies (26) Good night (5762) Bad night (1229) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not." http://tfl.nu/pkrm
  Replies (18) Good night (6119) Bad night (1149) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel. http://tfl.nu/te56
  Replies (10) Good night (6503) Bad night (884) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck. http://tfl.nu/i3zz
  Replies (15) Good night (7736) Bad night (992) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed. http://tfl.nu/o4oh
  Replies (8) Good night (1021) Bad night (2535) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back http://tfl.nu/e5xr
  Replies (10) Good night (4697) Bad night (827) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off http://tfl.nu/4yxi
  Replies (5) Good night (2723) Bad night (808) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this? http://tfl.nu/60aa
  Replies (6) Good night (1034) Bad night (553) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by... http://tfl.nu/g8gw
  Replies (9) Good night (3555) Bad night (574)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka http://tfl.nu/xkay
  Replies (9) Good night (446) Bad night (1083) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial http://tfl.nu/29ux
  Replies (15) Good night (1513) Bad night (325) Order T-Shirt

Randomize