i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize