quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you