I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize