May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
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Thank you for not boning my boss.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.