Texts From Last Night

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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.

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  (814): I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party. http://tfl.nu/nrd6
  Replies (16) Good night (3211) Bad night (677)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.

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  (803): you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila. http://tfl.nu/o38m
  Replies (36) Good night (1438) Bad night (6444)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out

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  (770): He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out http://tfl.nu/ozsp
  Replies (7) Good night (1072) Bad night (2774)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.

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  (570): he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough. http://tfl.nu/fko8
  Replies (8) Good night (5084) Bad night (899)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.

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  (405): You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's. http://tfl.nu/922r
  Replies (9) Good night (4296) Bad night (1114)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"

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  (239): I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself" http://tfl.nu/9vkt
  Replies (6) Good night (2437) Bad night (1359)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.

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  (928): On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory. http://tfl.nu/gw1o
  Replies (3) Good night (3228) Bad night (1021)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.

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  (978): If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again. http://tfl.nu/fk6d
  Replies (13) Good night (923) Bad night (1221)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.

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  (515): It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them. http://tfl.nu/9jno
  Replies (6) Good night (1309) Bad night (512)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night

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  (443): I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night http://tfl.nu/0wm9
  Replies (3) Good night (1522) Bad night (531)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.

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  (785): There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha. http://tfl.nu/kiqc
  Replies (1) Good night (581) Bad night (361)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  did i make more ranch sandwiches last night

  (269): View more from Michigan

  you had 4

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  (248): did i make more ranch sandwiches last night (269): you had 4 http://tfl.nu/kctz
  Replies (0) Good night (541) Bad night (658)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"

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  (972): He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?" http://tfl.nu/pqbh
  Replies (4) Good night (349) Bad night (829)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.

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  (608): Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver. http://tfl.nu/0dvj
  Replies (1) Good night (573) Bad night (215)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..

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  (715): He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not.. http://tfl.nu/15ql
  Replies (26) Good night (510) Bad night (240)

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