um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
