I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
please don't ironically join a cult
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