i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I didn't notice because vodka
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
