Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
