i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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