so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
