why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
