Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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