so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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